Never before in my Christian walk had I
ever been discouraged from praying for others, until I told my friends and
others that I continue to pray for my trans-gendered ex-husband to be healed
and restored. Now I find that this
declaration is often faced with startled or dismayed expressions. Some even seemed angered by my desire to pray
for others who struggle with trans-gender desires.
how I do I know that it is God’s will to heal my husband?
Some Christians seem startled to discover
that it is God’s desire to heal a person who identifies themselves as
transgendered. Probably it is because
the world’s message that trans-genderism is incurable and inbuilt has become
established in their minds and so the likeliness of God’s healing power moving
in the area of trans-genderism seems remote.
Yet to the Lord the oppressed are the oppressed and the broken-hearted,
broken-hearted. Whether the oppression
is trans-genderism, depression or drugs, Jesus still came to set the captive
free (Luke 4:18). It is always God’s
will to heal the broken-hearted and the oppressed no matter what form the
oppression takes. I pray daily that my ex-husband will be healed and restored to his
God-given gender, in accordance with God’s will.
how do I know that God did not make my ex-husband trans-gendered?
This question is really an extension from
the first. One may only argue that
trans-genderism is inbuilt from the angle “in sin my mother conceived me” (Psalm 51:5). It is true.
We were all born in sin. The trans-gendered one is not excluded from
this condition. Yet Jesus came to settle
the sin condition once and for all. All
those who have been born in sin, are now through Jesus’ death and resurrection,
made free from its hold and bondage (Romans 6:18). The freedom that Jesus offered is not
limited. It is not only applicable in
some areas. Jesus declared emphatically “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed” (John 8:36). Yet, a person must recognise that they are
bound before they take a step towards asking for freedom. I pray
daily that my ex-husband will recognise the oppressive nature of
even if it is God’s will and desire to heal my ex-husband, if he chooses to
rebel against God’s design for his life, what is the point?
Is not that the purpose of intercessory
prayer? Intercession is praying with God’s hope and intent that God
would step in and act for His will to be done on earth as in Heaven in another’s
life. It is trusting God to act. God
wants us to ask, with urgency, casting our weakness before His
strength. Your husband or loved one may
even be begging you not to pray! But
because you love them, in the Lord, you continue to pray that God would
intervene and reveal Himself in their life.
I pray daily that God was reveal
Himself in a real and genuine way to my ex-husband.
some would argue that because my ex-husband made his decision I should just let
Yet this question arises from a wrong
understanding of the previous three statements.
From reading testimony after testimony of those who struggle with
trans-genderism or cross-dressing habits, it is extremely obvious that no one
wants to be trans-gendered. No one wants
to cross-dress, nor do they want to obey the voice inside them telling them to
dress, act or have surgery. What they do
want, above all else, is a life of freedom in which they are loved, and can
experience peace and joy. Yet the world
has not been able to offer this freedom and love. The world has only offered rejection, abuse
and oppression. Therefore they lose the
hope that there will ever be a way to gain freedom from the trans-gender
oppression and so they learn to accept the condition. Once hope is lost, however, the motivation to
look for answers also disappears. That
is why I will not stop praying for my husband.
He really does not want to be a woman!
Yet because he has not found a way to eradicate these feelings from his
mind and heart, he gave up the hope of freedom and gave in to its pull. I pray
daily that God would lead him to repentance by demonstrating His goodness and
forbearance towards him.
all Christian women pray for their loved ones’ struggling with trans-genderism?
I believe it is a role that all Christian wives should take on in some
form or to some extent. The pull towards
prayer may be more intense in some than others.
If the one struggling is your husband or child the prayer will probably
be intense and heart-wrenching. If there
has been abuse and hurt, the first prayer may be to ask the Lord to give you a
heart to pray. Yet our role as believers
are to be vessels through which Jesus ministry of reconciliation may be
outworked (2 Corinthians 5:18). Your
prayers are a spiritual labour, spurred on and used by the Lord, until “Christ be formed” in your loved one
(Galatians 4:19). Yes, it may take
years. Yes, it may look as though
nothing is happening. Yes, it may seem
totally impossible. Yet thanks be to God that it is He who does
the work. Let us give our prayers to
Him, so that He may work through them.
do I pray?
- That God would shine his light into their hearts to remove the
blindness of their minds (2 Corinthians 4:3-6)
- That the veil over their heart may be removed so they may turn
to Christ (2 Corinthians 3:16)
- That the eyes of their heart may be enlightened for them to
know the Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:18-20)
- That God’s goodness would lead them towards repentance (Romans
- That the schemes of the enemy would be powerless in his life (2
- That in all my dealings with him I would walk worthy of the
ministry of reconciliation to which Jesus has called me.
- That God would give them dreams and visions which reveal
himself in a dramatic and effectual way.
- That God would send Christians to surround them to encourage
and minister Christ’s love to them.
Let the Holy Spirit guide you in your
praying. Allow the Holy Spirit to work
in your own heart as you pray for your loved ones struggling with
cross-dressing habits or trans-genderism.
You will be amazed at how profound the transformation is, not only in
your own life, but also in the lives of the ones for whom you pray.