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Getting distracted by the way of transgenderism

More than any other question I here uttered by Christian wives who do not understand their husband’s trans-gender struggle is: Why? Why does their husband have the desire to wear female clothing or change his body to resemble that of a woman?  Why?  What caused this strange desire?


Firstly it is understandable why we wives are desperate to know why this has happened or what caused this strange desire in our husbands.  If we know why then we are a step further towards working out how we can sort this whole mess out and get life back to normal again.  But the further we look into working out why this trans-gender behaviour has surfaced, the further away we move away from believing that God is able to move in a healing and restorative way.


For many wives this why question looms overwhelming before their eyes and seems to take over every aspect of their sense of coming to grips with what their husband is pursuing.  When at this overwhelming stage, the why question can easily become so big that it stops any sense of hope and faith that their husband being restored being developed.


Often this why issue becomes a huge distraction in wife’s believing in God’s ability to do a restorative work in her husband.  It is easy to be so consumed with understanding why this is happen, or how this is trans-gender desire has surfaced, that the praying for God to move in the situation wanes or at least may be put aside.


Yet, the Lord never promises to tell us every why in our life.  He does not promise to tell us why everything happens.  We may never know why!  As disheartening as that may be, we may never know why trans-genderism intruded into the lives of our husbands.  The Lord largely prompts us not to give too much attention to understanding the why, but rest in the knowledge that He knows why and He also knows how healing may come.  We are to place all our efforts, our believing and trusting, in trusting in Him to intervene in our situation.  We pray that in some way God may work this situation so that it may bring glory and honour to Him.  Of course we don’t know how the situation will bring glory to Him!  Of course we don’t know how God will turn it around or change it to be beautiful.  In fact it is not our role to know how the Lord will do it.  Our role is simply to continue to believe that God is able to bring beauty out of what is ugly, just as He brought great beauty out of the horror of the cross.  We continue to pray these things until the Lord specifically instructs us to stop.


Don’t let the why question become so big that it overwhelms your trust in the Lord’s ability to heal, transform and do a restorative work both in yourself, in your children and in your husband.


In all this encouragement to pray, we must remember that it is the Lord who urges us to pray.  Wives must not feel condemned if they do not have any compulsion to pray for their husbands.  The desperation for the Lord to move in our life will open the door for the Lord to knock on the door that encloses the issue of your husband’s struggle.  In other words give the Lord the freedom to move you into praying for your husband.  If you remain committed to allowing the Lord to move in every aspect of your life, He will move you into praying for your husband when it is the right season for you to do so.


So don’t become too preoccupied with discovering why trans-genderism has surfaced in our husband.  Be willing to be used by God as a tool towards His solution.  Don’t become consumed with working out how it all came about.    Focus instead on being used by God to bring glory and honour to Him while walking through this situation.